What’s Better than Being DTF? Almost Everything.

November 02, 2016

Story By: Madeline Baker

On any given Saturday morning you can catch me at Bodo’s. I like to get up early and start the day off with a good old egg, avocado, and tomato on an everything wheat bagel. Judge me for my boring Bodo’s order if you must, but it never fails to satisfy me. On one particular Saturday morning I was standing in line, anxiously waiting for my turn to order, when I overheard a conversation between two guys enjoying their bagels. Based on the dialogue that followed, I assumed they were first years: Guy A: “Well, do you think she is DTF? You know, like, down to fuck?” Guy B: “I don’t know man, that’s, like, the most important thing you should know about a girl. Is she down to fuck or not?” As I stood there listening to this conversation, I was both completely surprised and not surprised at all. Of course young, hormonal 19-year-old boys are1 going to have sex on their minds, even at 8:30am on a Saturday. What I really wondered, though, was how being “down to fuck” was the most valuable thing these guys thought you could know about a girl. Don’t get me wrong, sex between consenting adults is great, and by no means am I opposed to anyone’s sexual curiosity, but I’m not someone who wants to be known among my friends or peers as “the chick who is down to fuck.” Ask any of my friends, and they would tell you that being down to fuck is neither my best, nor my most redeeming quality. In fact, I could think of almost a million things I would rather people remember me for than being “DTF”. Of course, a million things won’t fit into one article, so I’ve compiled a list of eight things I’m down for that don’t involve fucking. These things are the most important and relevant to who I am.

Down to: Pizza. I think about pizza almost everyday. Pizza is the perfect food; it’s cheap, portable, and delicious. If I could choose my last meal, it would be a pizza with globs of mozzarella cheese and basil. I can’t lie to myself, nor anyone else for that matter, and say I would die happy eating a salad or whole wheat pasta. No, pizza is my day one homie. Parties where pizza was served are easily the best parties I have been to in my life, and I can always count on a cold slice of pizza to get me going in the morning if need be.   3

Down to: Ulta. If you are not familiar with this cosmetics chain, then I don’t know what to tell you. I am a makeup freak. I wear makeup every day, and while I applaud anyone who can have a face free of makeup and look absolutely flawless, that is impossible for me. I shop at Ulta for all of my makeup needs. I’m there almost every week and yes, I am enrolled in their rewards program. I can find everything I need here, from concealer to shampoo, charcoal masks to bronzer. Ulta is my place, my home, my space. Down to: Mindy Kaling Alright, yes, I know that maybe this one is a bit of a reach when it comes to a “quality”, but I have yet to meet someone who is able to deny the sheer comedic genius of Mindy Kaling. After 5all, she is Kelly Kapoor: the Business Bitch. Mindy’s writing inspires me to own my flaws and accept that I will never be Miss USA, but that this doesn’t make me any less of badass. She has taught me to take control of my own ambitions and to be proud to be a woman. If you have no idea who this radiant human is, please log on to netflix and watch The Office now GO DO IT NOW. Down to: Be a Really Good Friend I will be honest, my friend group is pretty small. This isn’t because I am incredibly awkward and haven’t quite mastered the art of a successful social interaction. It’s because I want to be the best friend I can be to those people who I am lucky to have in my life. I love spending time with my friends, and the closer I get to these people, the more I realize how important it is to develop these relationships. I am always willing to listen or offer advice to my friends, and I want to be be able to say I am committed to these relationships with my whole self. Down to:All things 6Texas. I was born and raised in Texas. Although I am not proud of my home state all the time, the Southern hospitality is undeniable. I love the culture of Texas. The food, the music, the history, and the people make this place both terribly obnoxious and incredibly charming at the same time. I’m from a coastal city (Yes, Texas has beaches. Please look at a map.), and I miss the beach every day. I miss the climate and the diversity of landscape. If you haven’t been to Texas yet, I suggest getting on a plane and going any time. You are guaranteed good weather and a great time.7

Down to: Throw all of my money away at Whole Foods. Let me get one thing straight: in no way can I afford to buy groceries at Whole Foods. However, like almost every other college student, I don’t have self-control. I have walked into Whole Foods with the sole intention of getting bananas, and left with a shopping cart full of everything but. I can’t resist any kind of health food, and Whole Foods only feeds into this obsession.  Yeah, I have purchased dried seaweed before, and I LOVED IT. So don’t judge me. I may be poor, but I am well fed.

Down to: Stranger Things I was a little late to the game in watching this Netflix show, but once I started it, I was OBSESSED! It has everything: monsters, conspiracy theories, romance, girl power. If you are looking for a new show to watch because you’ve seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy and you are not about to try and commit to another 10 season-long show, Stranger Things is where it’s at. Just a warning though: it’s going to be another year until the new season is released, but sit tight and come up with your own fan theories in the meantime.

Down to: Spin I’m always looking for ways to change up my workout, so when a friend of mine introduced me to indoor cycling, I was all ears. I was really skeptical at first, especially because I’m not the kind of person who likes to pay to work out, but HOLY S#!% was this a workout. I loved everything about the class, from its intensity, to the music, to the overzealous spin instructor yelling at the class to “KEEP PEDALLING!!!”. By the time the 45 minutes were over, I was drenched in sweat and high on adrenaline.9

Down to: Collect Cats I am not ashamed of the nickname I have among my friends as “The Cat Lady.” At one point, I had four cats.Yeah, dogs are pretty cool, but I just prefer the IDGAF attitude that cats have. Cats are pretty self-sufficient too, so that means I don’t have to constantly give them affection because they already know they’re hot shit. Bottom line: cats are better than people. Down to: Nap Naps are an integral part of my day. When I can go a day without a nap, I call it pulling an “all-dayer”. It’s harder than it 10sounds, honestly. That’s why I set aside 30 minutes to an hour almost everyday to close my eyes. I wake up refreshed and better than ever. So if you’re having a really exhausting day or just need to take some time for yourself, just go home and sleep it off until everything is better. There you have it, ten things that I would rather be labelled as than being DTF. So please, feel free to explore any of my favorite things, but more importantly, explore what it is that makes you YOU. People should be interested in what makes you an awesome human being, your likes, your dislikes, your interests and what makes you a complex person. Being DTF may be a quality, but it isn’t something I would like to get to know better about a person. By no means am I condemning going out and having a good time doing whatever it is you want to do, just don’t let other people decide what it is that makes you unique.


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