To my friends,
You are the pieces of my puzzle that make me whole. This is for you :)
There are people in this world who I have been searching for all my life. I was born simply a jumble of puzzle pieces, just to grow into a nearly finished puzzle with one piece missing. I searched frantically under the kitchen table, in the puzzle box, under the couch cushions, and then…I found you. Your friendship has made me whole. There is no longer a pesky gap in my being. No, you can see the whole beautiful picture now, and it's made of me and you.
When you came into my life, I suddenly became inextricably intertwined with someone who peeked their head around a cloud on a gloomy day. Someone who chose to hold my hand and never let go. Someone who decided they care what I have to say and will stop whatever they are doing to listen. I’m not sure what made you sit next to me during recess that day in seventh grade, or what compelled you to tell me that you liked my lunchbox, but we have been the best of friends ever since.
But the way you always give the warmest hugs, the way you really mean it when you ask how my day was, has me convinced our roommate match wasn’t so “random.”
Who knows what force made me procrastinate finding a roommate before first year, leading to our “random” pairing. But the way you always give the warmest hugs, the way you really mean it when you ask how my day was, has me convinced our roommate match wasn’t so “random.”
I don’t know what drew me to your table in bio lab second year. Whatever it was, it led to many nights at your apartment, playing Just Dance and watching Netflix shows where the characters make worse decisions than we did during our taste gene sequencing lab.
What is your happy place? Mine is you.
You are always here when I need you. Even when I don’t yet know it.
You are like soft sand beaches, warm sun that bathes my face, cool water that laps at my toes. You are always here when I need you. Even when I don’t yet know it. You were there for long debriefs spent standing by our cars after field hockey practice, despite our dead tired legs from endless sprints on 500 Fridays. Even though the days of scary coaches and high school drama are over, we still never run out of things to talk about. Our post practice discussions have turned into talks that last for hours in Nandos or Summer House, where we share our best and worst moments, or simply plot another spontaneous adventure.
Although we are no longer 12 year olds with an irrational fear of President Snow from The Hunger Games, we continue to be beckoned back to the leather recliners in your basement to find random movies to entertain ourselves with. After the arduous task of trying to make the projector work, we talk through the whole show. Reminiscing and smiling as we realize how much we have grown together, but never apart.
Here at UVA, I know you’ll always be down for late nights out, blasting music through your lava lamp speaker as we get ready. We carry those melodies with us, still singing our favorite songs as we walk from place to place; the off-pitch notes and mis-remembered lyrics wafting between us. A chance meeting has turned into many notes and gifts slipped under each other’s doors to cheer each other up, and countless fits of laughter over a joke no one else understands.
None of my favorite memories are just my own because they are all times I shared with you. In our shared memories and experiences, our lives become one.
I know I can always count on you to fangirl over childhood books, and to lay under the sky as we watch the stars come out. We share our deepest joys and fears as we try to remember where the constellations are, simply enjoying the company of one another. Long walks through the gardens as we procrastinate studying, and becoming way too invested in The Great British Bake Off, have brought us closer together. We giggle as we realize just how alike we are. We stare at each other confused at how we existed without the other before, before bursting into laughter again.
None of my favorite memories are just my own because they are all times I shared with you. In our shared memories and experiences, our lives become one. We are woven together like our 96% matched Spotify blend, or shared secrets that unite us under one mind. You are simply a piece of who I am, and I feel a soft ache whenever you aren’t around. Something deep within me still searches for you when you aren’t here, yearning to be pulled back by your side. Yet, this longing won’t last forever. The very thing that pulled us together in the first place keeps us from never being fully broken apart.
Then, the calm and joy you bring when you're around rushes back to me, as I remember you are no longer lost under the couch or stuck in the puzzle box.
Whenever I miss you, I just think about dancing to Beyoncé in the amphitheater, lying on your couch in College Park, staying up late to talk about our days after you came back to our room in Lambeth, and blasting throwbacks while driving to parties in Arlington. Then, the calm and joy you bring when you're around rushes back to me, as I remember you are no longer lost under the couch or stuck in the puzzle box. I think of you and I feel safe, knowing you’ll always have my back. You don’t have to do much, just be yourself, and I start to feel the cool ocean breeze, the sound of the waves lapping on the shore, and the warm sun on my skin as you dive into the ocean, beckoning me to join you.
With love,
Bailey/B.A.M/Bails
