Wellbeing

The average color of the universe is cosmic latte—a light beige. Not a dark, swirling black or a brilliant flash of yellow. A warm, boring, in the middle beige. Perfectly suited for Goldilocks. I’d like to imagine that if all of my experiences were poured into a glass jar and mixed like a can of paint, a pristine shade of cosmic latte would emerge. 

I fall in love every day. My boyfriend worries that I’m unfaithful. Little does he know.

I wrestled with the Brita filter for maybe 12 minutes this morning, which is at least 10 minutes too many. The filter refused to fit correctly, and I was exhausted, but eventually I triumphed—  exciting because it seems to me that water may be the cure for everything. “Have you been drinking enough water?” “Drink more water.” “Hydrate or die-drate.” I assume there’s at least an ounce of truth in that considering the human body is 60% water.

True self-care is not bath salts and chocolate cake, it’s making the choice to build a life you don’t need to escape from.

- Brianna Wiest

We always say, “I miss the good old days.” But the thing about it is, these days are good. We just do not see the good in the day. So this year, I made a vow to appreciate every single day and to see the good, no matter how big or small. Cheesy? Maybe so.

sometimes I read my old writing and I think, god, she really let the cringe jump out there, and other times I think with definitive certainty, I will never be able to write words so beautiful ever again. words will never leave me like that again. 

it’s been so long since I’ve written.

I think the words bled out slowly, left my mouth high and dry with an aftertaste of bitterness (I chew gum to keep it out).

1. “You Want It Darker” by Leonard Cohen

Magazines have a habit of piling up at my house. I suppose I could cancel the subscriptions, but I'm a child of the 80s and, while I value finding articles on my phone and laptop, I’m not ready to give up print magazines. My budding feminist sensibilities were formed by reading my mother's magazines.

5. The Northern Mockingbirds AKA the Sentinels

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When I think of ellipses, I think of more to come. Or depending on its placement, sometimes it means there was something before. I’m not sure where my placement of ellipses goes in this piece—or what it represents. I’m not sure where my placement in this world is at the moment.

Since my second week of undergraduate classes at the University of Virginia in 2013, I have found a companion in my planner. My beautiful, color-coordinated, perfectly designed planner. I mean, I vividly remember breaking down in ugly tears the day I spilled my coffee on it during my Fourth year, and thinking “how will I survive without my plans?” My social life, my academic needs, my career trajectory and everything else that mattered, including “free time”, was scheduled inside those pages. It was my confidant and my sense of control: I always had a plan.