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The evidence of human connection was once confined to the mediums of letters or fiction and non-fiction tales. The digital age, however, has birthed a new form of human communication: text messages. Baring your heart out no longer takes weeks to be heard; rather, our written emotional outbursts can be witnessed by their recipient instantly when sent through a text message. The impermanence of paper and ink is no match for the immortalization of 1’s and 0’s in the ever-expansive digital sphere. 

The unique dialect we have created can be dissected like any great work of Shakespeare and used as a way to track the type and depth of the relationships we hold with the many people in our contact list.

Some may argue that text messages pale in comparison to the traditional literary forms and face-to-face interaction that inform our concepts of human connection. I propose that shifts in body language or tone of voice have simply evolved in the digital age, taking the form of strategically utilized lower- and uppercase letters and emojis in our texts. The unspoken laws of text messages function as a new code of social norms for us in the tech generation. The unique dialect we have created can be dissected like any great work of Shakespeare and used as a way to track the type and depth of the relationships we hold with the many people in our contact list. 

Can our texts create a clear story of how strangers become friends? I propose a case study in which I will subject some of the earliest text messages between myself and the important people in my life to extreme scrutiny. I aim to examine how the laws of text played out in both early and later interactions with my people. 

Subject #1: The first subject is my first-year roommate. We were randomly assigned to one another and completely unaware of the other’s existence prior to receiving the email that stated we would be living with one another. This text message was preceded only by one email sent by the subject to me with her phone number. Our first contacts are as follows: 

It is clear that my initial interactions with the first subject were cautious. Each message was carefully crafted to ensure that the first impression did not completely deter the subject. The conversation is restrained in nature—these messages are not by any means proper representations of our personalities. The messages provide next to no information about how we are as people to each other, and to the audience; they clearly demonstrate the lack of a dynamic that exists between us. This lack of connection, however, is eventually remedied. The following interaction is nearly six months after living with one another: 

In just a few lines, the text messages demonstrate the transformation from two complete strangers with a severe lack of any dynamic to two people who are clearly comfortable with one another. A couple of differences in word choice and GIF usage can make a world of difference in identifying the two different phases these two messages originate from. 

Subject #2: The second subject is my current partner. We met at work, often having casual conversations, eventually getting each other’s contact information, and making plans to see one another outside of work. Early texts between us were mostly to coordinate times to meet in person; our familiarity at the time was above that of strangers, but only slightly above co-workers. The following text message depicts an early example of our coordination of plans:

Our initial messages do demonstrate some level of familiarity in our communication; it’s clear we’re not complete strangers hard-pressed to make a positive (or at least normal) first impression. However, we are already friendly; we know very little about each other. We’re both concerned about making plans to do something that the other enjoys, but we have no idea what the other would enjoy doing. This hesitancy is clearly demonstrated by our somewhat awkward text behaviors. 

The tone of this second text exchange, nearly 3 years later, is much more casual and relaxed. There is no fear that the proposed activity might not be to the other person’s liking because we now know each other’s preferences. There is also no question of what time we might meet or what day we might be free, because at this stage, we both know each other’s schedules and general availability for meeting. In place of what was once a somewhat nervous exchange, we ask very specific and direct questions and are able to agree with one another on what to do easily. 

Subject #3: The third subject is a high school friend. We met through mutual friends and saw each other virtually every day. It wasn’t until after a couple of months of seeing one another consistently that we finally exchanged phone numbers. Initially, we didn’t text each other for much other than help with homework, but over time our relationship evolved to where we were comfortable making plans to see each other. The following text message shows such an instance:

At the start of our friendship, our all-caps text messaging was a visual representation of our eagerness to appear as friendly as possible to one another. Our early exchanges are filled with pleasantries and text messaging niceties, a clear sign of our early friendship. The level of casual kindness (while not inauthentic) seems forced over the texting platform, something that is rare in our text messages now, over 3 years later. The conversation below demonstrates this:

Our straight-to-the-point text messages of today are a clear sign of a matured friendship. The most visually striking is, of course, our shift from all caps text to lowercase letters. There is no need to visually represent our desire to be friends; we simply are friends. Obviously, we remain kind to one another, but it’s a kindness that accompanies a close and longstanding friendship, not one forced through a “good luck” text. Our texts now convey many of the same thoughts our old ones did, but in a way that is clearly more natural to us both. 

Upon looking closer, our messages are storytelling machines.

While a capital letter or a conveniently placed “lol” may not seem like a world of difference, in the realm of digital relationships, it can change the entire tone of a conversation. When placing my old text messages next to recent ones, it clearly reflects a change in both my loved ones and me. Our generation’s perfectly crafted text messaging dialect, although at times tedious, has made messaging an increasingly nuanced method of communication for our generation. As seemingly ridiculous as it might seem to compare our texts to Chaucerian poetry, don’t they both work to convey the fundamental human thing that is friendship and connection? Even without the full context of the situations my messages arose in, you can see how the slight changes in our texting patterns reflect the changes in our relationships. Our digital dialogue bubbles tell as much of a story as any book does. Although shorthand texting might be seen as our generation’s loss of meaningful communication, I believe it is an alternative platform for meaningful human expression. Upon looking closer, our messages are storytelling machines.