Caught Between Pain and Pleasure

Pomegranate on blue plate
Art by Kirsten Hemrich

The vaginal dilators I had ordered, per the instructions of my physical therapist, arrived at my apartment in a perfectly normal-looking box, as if they weren’t sold by, a site that has my eternal gratefulness for coming up as “unspecified merchant” on my bank account statement. I kept them under my bed for two weeks, a reincarnated childhood monster that I waited to go away until I couldn’t stand the guilt of leaving sixty dollars’ worth of a medical device under my bed. I opened the box for the first time.

Letter from the Editor

hand drawn flower
Art by Kirsten Hemrich

Welcome to a New Year!  In January, we push ourselves to resolve new paths and fresh ways of doing things. This could mean anything, from going for a run every once in a while, to picking up our journals and meditating on each day. It could be reconnecting with an old friend, or finally getting yourself out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down for years. For me, this means a 7th attempt in just as many months to give up eating pizza in my clean sheets. It’s getting out of hand.


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