Relationships

“You intimidate them, Chloe.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I would love to start this pondering off with a rhetorical question, but there’s really no point, is there? Did that make you feel weird? Good.

Apparently I have an innate ability to make people, specifically men, feel as though their masculinity is dwindling as I stare them down, and their ankles have suddenly realized the Achilles heels had been hit. They would be next.

Except, I’m not staring, I’m smiling, and I’m asking how their day was.

Do you want to know what’s funny to me? There’s never really a “last” goodbye, is there? Only unsuspecting “when the time is right,” and the old-go-around of “it’s-not-you-it’s-me.” However, my bitterness should not stop others’ outright sunshine beaming from their smiles and being absorbed by eyes that would never leave them stranded at a Dairy Queen on Route 6. How lovely.

I was in my bed, on the phone with him, and after roughly 15 seconds of silence he said to me: “Wanna know what I can’t stop thinking about?” 

And I said,

“Yes,” 

Because I always wanna know what he’s thinking about. 

And he said, 

“That moment at the end of a Zoom call, where everyone’s about to leave and we all wave to each other.” 

Occasionally some people will turn their microphone on and give a little, “Thank you!! Bye!!” That is nice. I am often not that person. 

The evening began as it always did on these occasions. As our moms set popcorn and brownies on the green countertops, they warned us that they would be back to pick us up early the next morning. My cousins and I grumbled and argued that the next day would be Saturday, and we wanted to stay longer. It never mattered how well we argued our case, my mom and my aunt would be back at the first ray of daylight with my Grandpa’s pancakes barely off the pan (he always made pancakes and still does whenever we stay the night).

As my six-month spring break of binging shows on Hulu and Netflix ended, I had to accept that I would start my education at Zoom University for the foreseeable future. While some brave souls have decided to head back to Charlottesville, I am staying in my childhood bedroom for the semester. I set 10 alarms to make it to my classes throughout the day, and suffer while attending small lectures. I notice I’m the only one without my camera on, and that’s because the Zoom camera does me no justice.

In part two of this love series, Marwah and Lizz continue their conversation with guests, Myka and Ayesha, as they discuss the responsibilities that come with love, from obligations to family to the influence of its media representations. In this part two, we explore defining what love may look like in the world, in all its nuanced forms.

In part one of this two-part episode, Marwah and Lizz sit down with guests, Myka and Ayesha, as they discuss how love intersects with college life, queerness, society and adulthood. In “Speaking of...Cuffin’ Season Part 1” we investigate who is able to love in the world we live in—and who is able to do so openly and honestly.

In our final episode of the season, Marwah, Lizz, and the rest of the team at Hues discuss what it means to look back and look forward in the world today, as we sign off to say our many thank yous, and goodbyes...for now.

Easter always begins the same way for my family. My mother and aunt compete to see who can call my grandpa first on Easter morning to say, “The Lord has risen,” to which my grandpa will respond, “Indeed.” Last year my mom woke at the break of dawn to beat my aunt, but generally my aunt wins. Then my grandpa will call my cousins, brother, and me to relay the same message. As a whole, we’ve always been “indeeders,” rather than “the Lord has risen-ers.” This year is so bizarre because nearly every other tradition in my family will be through the phone as well.

Dear Doodle, 

Cause I love you a bushel and a peck, 

you bet your pretty neck I do,

doodle oodle oh,

You’re a chicken noodle,

Doodle oodle oodle oh. 

Sincerely,

Caroline 

xoxoxo