Murphy, Jo (guineapiglover1805)
To: Portillo, Miguel (wokmaster35)
Subject: Visit me!!!!
January 8, 2026
Hi Miguelito!
This is officially my last communication from London! I’ve definitely enjoyed my first time in Europe, but after two weeks of being in the heart of a city, I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that, at my core, I am a lover of the quiet. I genuinely don’t understand how you do this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I imagine everyone who works in the kitchen is as loud, if not louder than you, and then you go home to your city apartment to what? Fall asleep to the sweet sounds of sirens? Ugh, I can't; I’m recoiling thinking of it now. Anyways, all that to say, if I ever get to live out my dream of living in the UK, I might be more in the market for a house in the suburbs, not some probably gross, glorified Polly Pocket room (this is a diss at your apartment, BTW).
I do miss you loads, dude! I hope you’re feeling ready for a break from the sounds of jackhammers and angry taxi drivers, because I want to force you to visit me before the semester gets too crazy. I have a nice and quiet apartment, you can cook for my roommates2 who are far less picky than I am, and I can talk your ear off about how Londoners think Americans are dumb. Which reminds me, next time you have some time to call, I need to tell you how sobering an experience it is to have the politics of your country explained to you by a British person, not to spoil too much, but I think we might be beyond screwed.
Talk soon, love you, king!
Jo :)
- 1 (El Chuco)
A nickname for El Paso, Texas, derived from the term ‘Pachucos,’ the name for a popular subculture in the city that was developed primarily by young Mexican-Americans. The term ‘pachucos’ is thought to come from the El Pason pronunciation of going to the ‘shoe co.,’ which is ‘pa el shoe co.'
- 2
Anytime Miguel has cooked for me, I force him to make me buttered pasta because I am such a picky eater. He loathes the task and wishes he could show off his culinary mastery. Once I moved in with my foodie roommates, Miguel was tickled with the idea of getting to cook them an elaborate meal. My roommates were equally as excited by this exchange. This topic comes up continually in conversation with both Miguel and my roommates.
Portillo, Miguel (wokmaster35)
To: Murphy, Jo (guineapiglover1805)
Subject: hdhjvdvhjahj
January 9, 2026
Jooooooooooo!!!!!
Welcome back to the U.S.!!!! I know it might not be a happy homecoming, but still. I actually have some things to tell you. I took a couple of days off from work, and I’ve been thinking a lot, and I don’t think I’m going to go back to work. Okay, let me explain before you start spam calling me. I know you’re usually the voice of reason, so you might be a little hesitant about me leaving my stable dream job. To answer, no, I’m not going back to school3, and no, I don’t know what I want to do yet. I’ve been having such a hard time at work. It’s the working 16-hour days, 5 days a week, and I feel like I can hardly keep up with the pace of the kitchen. It’s just been really rough on me physically and mentally. I feel like I’m drowning. I promise this isn’t an 'I wasn’t good at it the first time, so I’m going to quit’ scenario; I genuinely just realized that I don’t have a passion for it.
I'm living the life that our parents sacrificed their lives for, so giving it up just feels like it might be a mistake. I genuinely can't live like this, though.
I was looking at the other guys, and they genuinely love the kitchen, and working 16-hour days doesn’t seem to faze them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them stressed; they’re always just having fun. They get to banter with each other and take smoke breaks; it’s what I love about the culture of the kitchen. Meanwhile, the entire shift I’m thinking about how at 20 years old I can hardly find the time to take myself to watch a movie (or to do my laundry4 even); I don’t have a life outside of work anymore. And maybe that would be okay if I loved it enough, but I just don’t. I don’t know, I still love food and cooking so much, but not enough to let it kill me.
I’m not going to lie; I’m terrified of telling my parents. My dad specifically was so excited when I told him; he was like, “this is what it’s all about, like this is what you wanted. " I don’t know. it’s just scary; I’m living the life that our parents sacrificed their lives for, so giving it up just feels like it might be a mistake. I genuinely can’t live like this, though. On the bright side, at least this was a 20-year-old Miguel revelation; better sooner than later, I think.
I’ll still visit and cook for your roommates, promise. Love youuu!
Miguel
- 3
Miguel originally moved to New York to attend the Culinary Institute of America. He completed 4 semesters before getting his job offer and deciding that his line of work would, in reality, not require a degree.
- 4
Ever since Miguel started this job, he calls me while he does his laundry because it’s the only free time he has.
Portillo, Miguel (wokmaster35)
To: Murphy, Jo (guineapiglover1805)
Subject: UPDATE
January 10, 2026
Hi Jo,
Soooo I told my parents—it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and I’m officially moving back home, literally tomorrow. It’s a bit sudden, but I think my mom was so excited to have me back that her boyfriend seemingly booked me the first ticket he saw. I’m going to miss the city so so so bad; New York was never the problem. Going home is going to feel weird. Ever since I left, I think it’s hard to imagine having a life back there. Although the guys at work, I think, have made me feel a lot better about home. I think I might’ve told you, but a lot of them are actually from El Paso, which makes sense given I work(ed) at a Mexican restaurant5. They just talk about home like some beautiful fantasy land; I don’t know. I'm starting to be convinced that our border town does have some allure we just couldn’t see in high school6.
Sorry, I just wanted to keep you updated. I will be shoving my entire life into a suitcase. Miss you jooooo!
Miguel
- 5
The restaurant where Miguel worked was a fine-dining Mexican fusion restaurant in New York City’s Chinatown. He originally staged (a culinary term referring to a type of trial shift or unpaid internship at a restaurant) at the restaurant on Saturday’s when he was still in school. He bonded so well with the primarily Mexican-American, El Pasoan staff that he was offered a full-time position following a sudden opening in the kitchen staff.
- 6
Both of us held some level of contempt for El Paso in high school and, as a result, were very resolved to getting as far away as possible from home.
Murphy, Jo (guineapiglover1805)
To: Portillo, Miguel (wokmaster35)
Subject: GIRL WHAT?
January 17, 2026
MIGUEL, wtf!! I read your last emails back to back; it never fails to surprise me how much your life always seems to do a 360 in a matter of days. I have so much to say, and again, you should so visit me so we can talk about this!?!
1. I totally understand that it’s more than you feeling that you aren’t doing well enough, but considering how easily everything seems to come to you, I know that it definitely makes the emotional blow a lot harder. So please, if you’re feeling dejected and unsuccessful, I’d like to remind you that you’ve masterfully charmed yourself into all of your successes, including your (ex) dream job7. I’m sure that whatever you do decide to do, Miguel, you’ll be annoyingly successful.
2. You’re so incredibly young, and I’m glad you’ve decided not to waste your youth hunched over tortillas8 when it’s not your thing. You deserve to live it up in your 20s while you can, and if you love going to the movies, you should be able to go and watch as many as you want.
3. I totally understand being scared to tell your parents. I remember the moment I started high school; my mom essentially begged me to go as far as I could from home. It felt almost like a warning, like, ‘I came to a new country; this is the least you could do.’ Even though I know she was definitely not thinking like that, it does feel like there’s a certain type of pressure. I get how accepting defeat can feel disappointing to yourself and like you’re letting your parents down, but I had no doubt that your parents were going to be anything but supportive.
I think the longer I've been away, the more I understand that our home has its charming quirks, and there's something so beautiful about the fluidity of the border in El Paso.
4. I can’t lie, I’m a little jealous that you’re going home. I think the longer I’ve been away, the more I understand that our home has its charming quirks, and there’s something so beautiful about the fluidity of the border in El Paso. Genuinely, I feel like anytime I explain to someone here in college that you and I would walk across the border to get snacks at the Oxxo and then walk back, or that some people at our high school would live in Juarez and cross every day to get to school, their minds are blown. I miss being surrounded by people who would just get it. This country is evil for making the southern border look like some lawless no man’s land. Anyways, I think being home can be really good for you (and I’m not just saying this because I hated New York); you’re going to eat so many good tacos, I’m so jelly. :/
Well, the prodigal son has returned to the homeland; that’s very exciting in a different way, Miguel. Please give my best to your mother and VISIT ME!!! I know you have the free time now, so there’s truly no excuse. (I must) See you soon.
Jo
- 7
In our high school yearbook, there was a small article written about his acceptance to the Culinary Institute of America. When asked about his hopes for his culinary career, he spoke about how his dream is to have a restaurant with no more than one Michelin star; his philosophy was that any more than one fostered an unhealthy level of perfection. Coincidentally, the restaurant where he worked had exactly one Michelin star.
- 8
This was his assigned prep station at work.
Portillo, Miguel (wokmaster35)
To: Murphy, Jo (guineapiglover1805)
Subject: Homecoming
January 20, 2026
JOOOOOOO
It’s been so good to be home. Obviously, I still love the city, but there is something about the feeling of being at home that is truly unbeatable. Another development has occurred. I was talking to my grandma about loads of things, but in the conversation she got to talking about how no one wants her house, and I mentioned I wouldn’t be opposed to taking it off her hands, so she’s willing me her house. I basically have a house, sort of. It’s all very exciting to me. I love the idea of decorating my house and just having a place to host people. I think it’s just nice to think that I'll be able to offer you and Scarlett a place to stay when you guys visit me.
I think being home and finding a steady job, and perhaps down the line, a life-mate, is what seems most appealing to me, and anyway, what is more of an immigrant American dream than that?
This whole having a house thing got me thinking of where I want to go from here. Honestly, I think I’ve settled on just wanting a quiet domestic life. I just want a 9-5 with decent benefits and time to do things that I like. I know I’ve historically hated the white picket fence and 2 ½ kids idea, but I think I am starting to understand the appeal. I think being home and finding a steady job and, perhaps down the line, a life-mate, is what seems most appealing to me, and anyway, what is more of an immigrant American dream than that? I feel like, as much as I was scared of it, there are more ways to make my parents proud than there are to disappoint them.
All this to say that I am happy, Jo, and I’m anxious to host you. And yes! I will come visit; you’re so pushy. Love you!!
Miguel
(P.S. call Scarlett; I want us to go to Cancun this summer)
