I could spend an hour deciding what to eat for dinner, but somehow, picking out my next tattoo does not intimidate me. I often find myself chopping up my clothes — or hair — as I rush out the door. Finding joy in spontaneous change has transformed my life. Letting go is freeing. Change is something to be embraced. We cannot grow without metamorphosis.
I have found self-love, empowerment, and even comfort in customizing every part of my life. Don’t let fear, or apathy, stop you from pursuing change. Trust me, as a very anxious person, I get it. Not to sound like Nike or anything, but just do it! Don’t live in the future. Live in the now!
As we get older, doing what we enjoy becomes mistaken for wasting our time, and “materialistic” becomes interchangeable with “shallow” and “superficial.” Not everything needs to be so serious! Don’t let all the funky clothes in your closet be replaced by work clothes and loungewear! Your closet, your body, and your bedroom can be your playground if you allow them to be. Self-expression has helped me find home in my queerness: is that really a waste? Besides, hair grows back, makeup washes off, piercings can be removed. What is life without joy? Do what brings you joy. Self-expression is not useless. Your space is your own. Your body is your own. Make it yours.
Ugh, another magazine telling me I need to try this, that, and the next thing. Okay, so maybe you just don’t want to cut your hair or get a tattoo: that’s a-okay! If you do want to change your look, do it your way. I’m not here to tell you to keep up with all the newest microtrends, or even to splurge on a new product or new wardrobe. You don’t need a lot of spare change to make a little change! Your life is your canvas.
1. Cut your hair!
I would love to know how much money I have saved by cutting my own hair over the past few years (my friend Cassie says probably enough to buy a wig). Moreover, I finally have the haircut I have been dreaming about for years (once I let it grow out a bit ahaha). Whenever I would go to the hair salon when I was younger, I would walk away wishing they had given me a shaggier (gayer) cut. And when my bangs begin to brush my nose, I am no longer afraid to trim them myself. Heck, while I’m at it, I might even cut a few inches off the ends. I believe that hair looks good on me, personally, but if I’m being honest, I half-expect to have a shaved head at some point in my life. If cutting your own hair is not possible, make a mood board and head to the salon!
2. Dye your hair!
My friend has asked me time and time again about how I dye my hair, and has mentioned time and time again that she sometimes thinks about going pink. My response is always: You should go for it! I understand the hesitation that comes with changing your appearance; I used to be consumed by the same feeling. Just let go. If you don’t like it, you can always change it back. More importantly though, you probably will like it! When I decided to dye my hair cherry red a few years ago, it opened up a doorway to a new passion. Now, I find the color of my hair changing with each new season.
3. Try a new hairstyle!
If you’re not ready to make a big leap, take a little hop! Maybe you’re still nervous to cut your hair — why not try a new style then? I often find myself resorting to the same hairstyle out of convenience. New hairstyles don’t have to be complicated, even finding a new go-to convenient hairstyle can be exciting! Try out different braids, half-up/half-down looks, or just change the position of your ponytail… whatever! Changes of all sizes are worthwhile!
4. Try a new makeup look!
Are you afraid to stand out? Afraid that you aren’t “good” at makeup? I’m not “good” at makeup either! But whenever I whip out an eyeshadow palette, I discover a spring — or should I say sparkle — in my step. Try out some new products, or new looks with products you already have. Have fun — makeup washes off! Your face is your canvas. Don’t use makeup to hide your true self, use makeup to enhance your beautiful features and express yourself!
5. Do your nails!
I love “doing” my nails. I love gluing little pieces of plastic on my short, stubby nails to make my fingers look long and slender. I love browsing around the cosmetics section of CVS while I’m supposed to be working. I look through all the fun little sets of nails until I find one that speaks to me, then I bring it up to the checkout counter and cash in that employee discount. When I get home, I sit down for about ten minutes and plop on some new nails, and suddenly, I have a whole new look for weeks to come! I’ll even paint my boyfriend’s nails to match. Do your nails however you like, in whatever way is accessible—and enjoyable—to you!
6. Alter your clothes!
If you don’t wear an article of clothing as is, why not change it? I used to be so nervous to modify my clothes. Taking scissors to clothing feels so…permanent. Once I overcame this fear, I found myself actually wearing the clothes that were once at the bottom of my dresser drawer. I generally prefer short tops—so why not crop the shirts that are “too long”? As a 5’3” woman, I often find that my pants are too long, as well—so why not trim them? Skip the sewing and embrace the raw edge, or pick up some fabric tape! When I’m really feeling adventurous, I’ll even apply patches to my clothes, or once in a great while, paint them! Find a pair of jeans you never wear—or thrift some “new” ones—and have some fun!
7. Try out some new outfit combos!
Switching up your outfits doesn’t have to mean investing in a new wardrobe. If you have a night off, make your bedroom your runway! I used to save my best outfits for special occasions (why waste a good outfit on a boring day?) but then I realized how much I was limiting myself. If I wear my good outfit today, I’ll get to come up with an even better outfit tomorrow!
8. Get a tattoo!
If you’re anything like me, you probably second-guess just about every decision you make. There is no undo button for tattoos. This is a fact that I have accepted and even embraced with open arms. Ironically, I find relief in committing to a new tattoo. After adding a new piece of art to my skin, there is no room for second-guessing or regret. The only option is acceptance and confidence. Even if you aren’t still obsessed with your tattoo twenty years from now, it will serve as a reminder of this time in your life, or maybe you’ll come up with a new meaning for it. Or maybe it doesn’t need to have a capital-M Meaning.
9. Get a piercing!
I got my septum pierced (like just about every other bisexual) about a year and a half ago and have never looked back. When I take my septum ring out, I hardly recognize myself. My septum ring doesn’t cover anything up or distract from any facial “imperfections,” but instead ties my features together in a way I can’t quite explain. Plus, whenever I get bored of my septum ring, I can switch out the jewelry! As I write this, I’m thinking about which piercing I want to get next!
10. Switch up your home decor!
Rearrange your furniture! Hang up those sentimental items lying under your bed! I like to stick movie tickets, birthday cards, stickers, and other random things to my walls. Why have a boring wall when memories and tape are right at your fingertips? Think outside the box! Adults can enjoy arts & crafts, too!
I have claimed my body, my home, and my appearance as my own, but I also understand that this looks different for everyone—to each their own! By letting go of my fear of exploring new possibilities, I have begun a journey of self-discovery, and you can do the same. Just do what you want and have fun with it. Stop asking if it’s “too masculine” or “too feminine.” Stop caring about what others think. Stop worrying about what 80-year-old you will think. Let yourself have joy. It will be okay.
