October has finally come, which is huge for (annoying) horror lovers like me! Any friend of mine understands that, for much of my life, this genre has been a staple. From the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark children's books to Goosebumps, something about my muscles freezing up in fearful anticipation has always captivated me. But if there is one thing I love more than horror, it is judging other people's movie taste. So for this issue, I think it's only fitting to talk about what your favorite horror movie says about you. Whether you think of yourself as a horror connoisseur or if the only scary movie you watched was against your will at a middle school sleepover, there is something for everyone on this catch-all list!
So you like The Babadook (2014)
A deeply unnerving movie about grief, a newly widowed mother and her son navigate the lurking of a sinister entity in their house. If you like this movie, you are the horror fanatic of all horror fanatics. You probably spend a lot of time worrying about the 'awful state of horror movies these days' and often explain to your friends why Hereditary is overrated. You care less about the sensation of a horror film and more about its underlying message #respect.
So you like The Shining (1980)
Just between you and me, I have never watched this movie in my life. I know what you're thinking– "How can you call yourself a horror fanatic and haven't watched The Shining?" To that I have three words to say: I don't care. Maybe it's the alleged treatment of Shelly Duvall on set, or the fact that I'm a twin and hate the bad rep. Either way, I'm not touching you or this cult classic with a ten-foot pole!
So you like Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
"Don't call her a psychopath. That’s literally so ableist." With this film's amusing satire on Gen Z, Bodies Bodies Bodies definitely had your friend group asking "did they write this movie about us?" It follows a group of twenty-somethings at a so-called "hurricane party" in a New York mansion. As soon as they begin playing the murder mystery game Bodies Bodies Bodies, one of the guests turns up dead–and the game takes a seriously bloody turn. If this is your favorite horror movie, I definitely want to be friends with you. I just know you make friendship bracelets for every occasion and have a Letterboxd account that gets updated religiously.
So you like Insidious (2010)
A contemporary classic! If Insidious is your favorite horror movie, you truly are a man of the people. You don't care if film bros think you have bad taste or aren't sophisticated enough. You simply like jumpscares and fun!
So you like Talk to Me (2022)
Also a horror movie centered on grief, Talk to Me follows a teen girl who recently lost her mother. Thrown into the depths of her anguish, she goes to life-threatening lengths to connect with her mother once again. If this is your favorite horror movie, you're the edgy, artsy kid who had a tumblr dedicated to 5 Seconds of Summer back in middle school. You're also probably that friend who doesn't know how to end the joke.
So you like Get Out (2017)
So…how's the sociology paper going? If you like Get Out, you have an endless amount of commentary on contemporary social issues (and give your professors a run for their money during discussions). At any given moment you can probably be found yapping about how this film ushered in a new era of horror—and I'd have to agree! With its daring commentary on the false idea of a "post-racial world," Get Out gives you something new to notice with every watch.
So you like Happy Death Day (2017)
In this comical film, a pompous college student finds herself reliving her birthday over and over, only to be killed by a masked murderer at the end of each night. If this is your favorite horror film, you're the fun friend in the group—never seeing anything as being that serious. You definitely bombard your friends saying "You are GAYY!" (or perhaps I'm just talking about myself).
So you like The Blair Witch Project (1999)
I'm not saying that you're a creep, but I definitely don't want to be alone in a dark forest with you. This disturbing film blurs the lines between reality and fiction as it replays the found footage of three film students who disappeared researching the infamous Blair Witch. If you like this movie, you enjoy the thrill of seeing people in danger, and inquiring about what they'll do in any given scary situation. Perhaps you are a psychology major or just really love reality TV. Who knows?
So you like Gone Girl (2014)
In the wake of a woman's disappearance, her husband (and their tumultuous marriage) becomes the center of a gripping media scandal. If Gone Girl is your favorite film, you have a pile of diaries on your nightrest that you compiled as a child, and you never skip a single day of journaling. I truly admire you and your ability to write an eight page English paper in one night!
So you like Ghostbusters (1984)
Hey! I just wanted to let you know that the 80s called, and they want their aesthetic back. Just kidding, I guess. But on a more serious note, you probably don't enjoy watching demonic possessions or bloodthirsty, murdering psychopaths—and that's like…so fair! In all honesty, you probably watched Ghostbusters with your dad/grandpa or you simply love the soundtrack. There is no other plausible reason. But you do have taste!
So you like none of the above
I honestly understand. You'd rather eat a leather shoe than subject yourself to ninety minutes of fear. Maybe you get your dose of thrill through roller coasters or skydiving (much scarier, in my opinion). But from someone who has watched many horror movies, I truly believe that there is something for everyone. So maybe this spooky season you can find yourself a new scary favorite!
