“The power of the Good has taken refuge in the nature of the Beautiful.” Plato, Philebus 64a–65a
Last week, when I was walking to class, it was 60 degrees and sunny. Someone played piano from a porch in the distance, and I felt the warmth from the morning light on my face. A wave of joy washed over me upon hearing the music, which was then followed by a wave of guilt.
Is there a specific reason for my guilt? No, just the crushing weight of the world, of course. Times are hard — there are probably very few people who would not accept that statement. It sits so heavily on my shoulders that even my senses alerting me to the simplest perceptible beauty in the world feels like a betrayal.
Of course, I understand that relatively speaking, I have it very good. The skies above me are blue, the air above me is clean, and the roof over my head is sturdy. To have the ugliness of the current geopolitical state weighing heavily only on my conscience and not, for the most part, physically crushing me, is something I feel immense gratitude for. The problem is, even if this guilt is indirect, it is still a nasty feeling, one that our psyches innately want to protect us from experiencing at all. As awful as it is, it takes an immense amount of cognitive effort to stop feeling this guilt, to stop feeling desensitized to the lack of beauty, the ugly, the suffering. I know this kind of cognitive effort is something that not everybody has the capacity for. While I understand, we cannot just be so quick to dismiss this guilt that comes from weighing the beauty and the ugliness of the world at the same time. It is vital that we hold onto it, for if we don’t, we become so apathetic that we stop questioning it. We open ourselves up to the belief that the lack of a beautiful world is normal.
The natural world creates much of the beauty we perceive, but we humans are responsible for creating beauty too.
How awful it is that things sometimes seem so terrible that we stop believing the world is inherently good and beautiful? How awful is it that we feel guilty for remembering such a thing? You may think what you want about the inherent morality of the world, but similarly to Rousseau in his essay, "Discourse on the Arts and Sciences" I will not be dissuaded from the inherent good of humanity and of the world we inhabit. We seem to gravitate towards love and altruism naturally and painlessly, yet greed and destruction often require reasoning as to their benefits. It is the simplest thing to observe and appreciate beauty, yet a task to justify situations where it is lacking.
Through my window, I see the street lights illuminating the fresh dusting of powder snow all down my street. At my current eye-level, I see beauty, even though it is no longer 60 degrees and sunny. In front of me, I see a sleek black cat with the brightest green eyes staring at me lovingly from the end of the bed. Next to me, I see the way my freshly-washed sheets are pulled tightly over my mattress. But if what is outside of my eye level is not beautiful, does that mean that we are not living in a beautiful world?
The natural world creates much of the beauty we perceive, but we humans are responsible for creating beauty too. And man-made beauty is unique in that it is not always immediately perceptible from the senses, but still is visible in the results it creates.
I will be the first to admit that I don’t have all of the answers. I still don’t know to what extent I should feel guilty in the face of a crumbling world.
You cannot see care for another person, but you can see the relief on a stressed roommate’s face when they come home to a clean kitchen. You cannot see compassion, but you can see the tears that fall when you bring a friend candy after a break-up. And most importantly, you cannot see empathy, but you can distinctly see where it is not. In every place that humans have contaminated, every place we have stolen the beauty from, there is a distinct lack of empathy. In every place that we have unmade, it is because, in one form or another, we have stonewalled ourselves from being able to feel what another is feeling. The desensitization that comes from the guilt of perceiving a world that is not beautiful only serves to further the problem.
I will be the first to admit that I don’t have all of the answers. I still don’t know to what extent I should feel guilty in the face of a crumbling world. But since the world is not quite crumbling above me yet, I do feel as if it is only human to perceive and be grateful for the beauty of the everyday. Further, I feel as if it is useful to do so because it makes us hyper-aware of instances where beauty is lacking. Maybe the key is holding the good and the bad in tandem.
If your life is beautiful, be grateful. Remember to take that gratitude and recognize that it is a luxury. Take the weight of the world for a piggy-back ride. Demand empathy from other people by embodying it yourself. Play the piano on your porch in the morning light. And revel in the fact that soon, it will be 60 degrees and sunny again.
