It was that burning sensation,
the one that grabs hold
at the base of your throat,
and you cough as if that will help.
It was the picturing of you as someone
I hated, someone I once knew
but tore away.
It was just my 22nd birthday,
and I thought back to a restaurant
where I felt a shift in myself when I was 20.
It was the echoing that reminded me of
why.
It was the ‘no thank you’ reminder,
the refusal of second and third offers
while I glanced around at those I didn’t know
and wouldn’t.
It was remembering every moment,
every moment that my gut has told me right
and I have disregarded, only to wish I hadn’t
three months later.
But now, now it's this feeling,
not of being disregarded, but of you.
You needing warmth, and it’s not about me
not last week, not right now.
maybe, maybe next week we can try again.
