Part 1
I freeze in place and then thaw. Thoughts trickle along in a spiral of longing aspiration. You build up your towering mountain of desire and demand fruitful force. Why do you suspend my spirit in such active inaction? A spell has been cast that only you may break.
Alas, you raise your lens up to my glaring flaws and imperfections. I linger with doubt and wonder what all I’m missing. Staring into your dark exhausted eyes, I see the one who I don’t know. The one I wish to cast away forever. The glass shudders at the confrontation. I hold so much, yet nothing at all—you tell me so at least. Can you give me the space to conquer the waves as they break and flow? After all, I am just a girl trying to find my path. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to simply exist?
I wish I could steal you away—my sweet idleness. Let’s escape and exist in sweet oblivion together! Just for a moment…
As I pause and take a good look within—to note the way the undercurrent festers—my truth shifts ever so slightly. You want the very best for me, but I wish you could be a little more modest. Where to bury your burning potential? Nowhere. You’re a fire that I will never be able to put out, and I love you the most for it. I wish I could steal you away—my sweet idleness. Let’s escape and exist in sweet oblivion together! Just for a moment…
Part 2
In your purest form, I view you as a bold and beautiful sunrise. There’s a slim few who rise to the occasion of experiencing your beauty. Descriptions of your wonderfully magic complexion will never be just. Mere images of your peaceful tidings do not suffice. I awaken with gratitude and allow myself to dive into all that you are. Trickling desire turns to a sprint towards your giant ocean. Submerged and immersed, I ascend with bursting laughter that floods the barren and desolate drought with hope.
I want to be held safe in your grasp forever. I want to exist in tranquility for a lifetime believing that you will be enough.
Any thought that comes to my mind is instantly gratified by your acknowledgment. Inspiration for a brand new beaded project plagues me with activated intention. Barbed silver chain linked with bones. Stars dangle and teeth flow free in my glittering heart encasement. There’s no need to elicit an explanation for my crazy inclinations. They never have to leave the comfort of this space. I want to be held safe in your grasp forever. I want to exist in tranquility for a lifetime believing that you will be enough. Taking you in as my own, I learn to accept myself in the process. There is no threat to your power.
Part 3
I have come to know your many forms. You are the first to greet me as I wake in the morning. Lying sound underneath the layers of polyester and fleece, I cease. I reluctantly roll out of bed in a tired haze—my attempt to seize the day. I meet you eye to eye in the mirror, the golden bulbs from above illuminating my morning. They beam like the flashing lights from a sign at the movies, except this viewing is exclusively between you and I. There is no need to perform when I am with myself.
This time we share is sacred...You offer me an escape. I know you will always be there for me and I accept your presence. In this sense, I am never alone.
The humming buzz of my electric toothbrush accompanies the spritz of water spouting from the shower head as it reaches a scorching heat. Poignant hyper pop plays for my morning debut—a secret kept between you and I. This time we share is sacred. I relish in the peace of logging a new journal entry. An image is already provided for any idea I dream up. From the time of waking and waiting, I slip in and out of my daydreams whenever it’s convenient. You offer me an escape. I know you will always be there for me and I accept your presence. In this sense, I am never alone.
Sincerely,
A dreamer in the making
