One thing about me? I take birthdays very seriously. One birthday in particular, actually—mine. Everyone calls your day of birth your “special day,” and I have internalized that messaging to the point that just the mention of the number 24 gives me happy tingles. Because it’s my birthday, the number 24 is my second favorite number (the origin behind my first favorite number is a different story). I am not sure if my love for all even numbers stems from the fact that my birthday is all even—08/24/02—or if my obsession with even numbers is what makes me love my birthday even more.
Nevertheless, all of my obsessing over numbers goes to show you, I take my birthday very seriously. The entire day must be absolutely perfect because it’s the most important day (duh).
And perhaps I seem a bit crazy, but Disney Channel Original Movies like 16 Wishes demonstrate that I am not alone in my unattainable expectations of a single day. Like Abby Jensen and her colorful list of 16 wishes, I too wish for the impossible every year. So here’s to making lists and wishing for the impossible in my 22 wishes for when I’m 22.
When I’m 22…
1. I will be happy
Starting off this list with quite the ask, but as I said, my day must be perfect and this includes every single one of my emotions. I must be feeling happy my entire day—a perfect state of bliss, if you will.
2. My family/friends will surprise me (and I will love it)
I love a good surprise, but only when it’s the surprise I’ve been secretly wishing for with the hope that my friends and family are magical mind readers who know exactly how to bring my dreams to life. Super simple, right? Absolutely nothing delusional about it. Which means on my 22nd I am going to have an amazing surprise party and the best gifts.
3. I will receive tons of “happy birthdays” & compliments
At this point in my life, I have come to the realization that I check every box when it comes to the different types of love languages, but words of affirmation often win. For those of you who are ASMR enjoyers, you understand the calming, tingly sensation triggered by certain sounds. I get those from words and demonstrations of love. So yes, birthday wishes actually make me all warm and fuzzy, and I am absolutely addicted to the feeling.
4. Food will melt in my mouth
As I confess this, I expect the gasps of shock on the other side of the screen. I am not a food person. I am a very picky eater, which means I not only like very few foods, I don’t particularly enjoy the act of eating. However, a perfect day means I have to enjoy what I eat, whether it’s Firebirds Chicken Pasta or a filet mignon from Outback Steakhouse. As an experienced picky eater, these two options never fail. And of course we cannot forget dessert! The meal would not be complete without a Carvel ice cream cake.
5. I will get all the books on my list
I have been an avid reader since my elementary school Magic Treehouse phase, but the more I read, the more money I (my parents) spend. So, this wish not only refers to me receiving an entire stack of books that barely make a dent in my Goodreads “To Read” list, but it also comes with the stipulation that these books won’t cost money. Just imagine, that new book smell without the financial guilt attached. Even though I love a good library book and have already read these two, I still want my own copies of The Priory of the Orange Tree and A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon. And of course, there are many books I have yet to read and so desperately need like In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado and Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin.
6. I will get all the K-pop albums on my list
Music and books, a girl needs both! If I am going to get all the books I want, while we’re at it, let’s tack on albums to the list of free items I want (need) to have. As someone who knows a bit too much about almost every active group in K-pop right now, my wish list of albums gives CVS receipts a run for their money. And it really doesn’t help that albums have to have multiple versions. I can barely convince my mom to get me one version of the album, and explaining that Jimin looks good in all three concepts doesn’t quite get across to her. Some of the albums that I want are Le Sserafim “Unforgiven” (Bloody Rose version), New Jeans “Get Up” (Minji version, Hanni version), ATEEZ “The World Ep.2 Outlaw” (Z version), and (G)I-DLE “I love” (X-File version).
7. Everyone will love my music (every. song.)
Speaking of music, let’s face it, I have impeccable taste, it’s just criminally underrated and heavily misunderstood. The girls that get it, get it. Nobody gets camp noise music better than me, but on my special day, everyone will get it.
8. My outfit will be perfect
Unlike Abby, I know it could be a bit unrealistic to wish for the cutest outfit everyday, but at least on my special day I can be looking my absolute best. My cute sundress will fall just right, not too short and not too long, and will accentuate my hips. The colors of the dress will bring out my eyes—aided by only the lightest amount of mascara. Instead of my typical, decaying pair of white sneakers, I will wear a cute pair of sandals that show off my fading summer pedicure. Finally, my perfect outfit cannot be complete without my butterfly earrings, that make me look so magical I might flutter away into the sunset.
9. Jennie will post on Instagram
Unlike Abby, I don’t have high hopes of meeting my celebrity crush in the flesh, especially when she is a member of South Korea’s biggest girl group. But if an Instagram photo dump dated August 24 shows up? She totally did it for me.
10. I will be well rested
No napping on my special day! In college, it’s impossible not to become an afternoon nap kind of girl, but on my special day I won’t miss a second of it. If I could stay up the full 24 (that number again!) hours and not feel like microwaved death, I would.
11. We’ll watch Twilight (everyone will love it)
I (re)watched Breaking Dawn Pt 2 for my 21st so this wish is actually attainable! What is less attainable is everyone else’s enjoyment of the movie, but if watching my comfort saga is going to become a birthday tradition, people are going to need to get on the Team Edward and Bella train. If I am controlling my emotions for the day, other people need to rein their reactions in. Unless their reactions are positive, then full steam ahead! Comment away!
12. I will know what I am doing with my major
Ah yes, the plight of someone majoring in Women, Gender, and Sexuality studies (and nothing else). How to be financially stable without a logical major? When I am 22, I hope to finally have an answer, less for myself, and more for the relatives exuding extreme concern for me every Thanksgiving.
13. I will have a job
Yes, I have yet to get a job, and yes I feel extremely guilty about it. But I am also worried about working someplace where I am miserable and have less time to get schoolwork done. I barely have any time for a social life now, imagine what a job would do. But…I do need to start earning my own money and add to my relatively sparse resume, so I need a job that doesn’t take up too much time, pays well, and that I enjoy doing. I’m sure it’s out there somewhere!
14. I will learn (and excel) at cooking
If the Fried Rice Fiasco of September 7th is any indication, I am far from a chef. I have very little experience with cooking, so you should never let me in a kitchen unless you want something set on fire. That being said, I am an adult and according to most adults, cooking is *apparently* a skill I need to develop. Therefore, a wish is perfect to use so that I can guarantee confidence in my skills and excellent, edible end products.
15. I will not stress!!
Stress is so last year. And yet, another semester happens and 95% of the time I am stressed (oops). And while I hope to absorb the TikTok manifestation slides saying “My mistakes will not haunt me” or “I know how to interact with other humans in a normal way” through some sort of osmosis, it’s clearly not enough. I need to wish my stress away. Begone!
16. People will appreciate the little things I do
I am nothing if not an eavesdropper, but that also means I’m a good listener! I pay attention! Being attentive to others is my love language, but it is so much better when my friends are speaking that language and outwardly appreciate all that I try to do for them. So here is to a year of receiving some love back.
17. I will have friends in my classes
It has taken me about 3 years to finally talk to people in my classes, and it has been quite the journey from sitting in the back corner of a lecture hall and scurrying out like the shy rat I am to luckily running into one familiar face in my super small 20 person seminars this year. So, maybe it isn’t me and it’s my classes, and it definitely has nothing to do with my social anxiety. Or perhaps I should just consider making friends? Poof, a social butterfly is born.
18. I will become closer with the people I have met
Speaking of socializing, having gone to the same school for 14 years is really not helping my social game. Luckily, I have found friends from class and dance that I so desperately want to spill my guts to. In my last year, I want to be late night cuddle sessions and trauma dumping close with the people I have found here.
19. My family will go on a fun vacation
I love a Coleman family vacation to a beach in Virginia or one of the Carolinas, but as someone who rarely travels, I would love to go somewhere further one day. Somewhere out of the country might be asking too much, but perhaps the West Coast like California or Washington. It would finally require us to go on a plane because there is no way my family is surviving a car ride across the entire country. Speaking of surviving, this fun vacation would be conflict free. There won’t be any fighting on my vacation.
20. Writing will be easier
Not to get super meta, but seeing as this piece alone took me many days and many hours to write, I would love it if my brain and body would allow me to write faster. The current method of writing a sentence and then turning to TikTok because I need a “brain break” is definitely not conducive for a college Humanities student.
21. I will be happy (entire year version)
Wishing to be happy for an entire 24 hours is already a big ask, so I know it would be too much for an entire year, and sometimes you need to be sad for the happy moments to mean even more. But I do have an issue when it comes to pessimism. So, when I am 22 I will be a glass half full kind of girl, a look on the bright side kind of woman. What is the point of getting older if I am not enjoying the journey?
22. [saving this for later <3]
