Read this to the song Speak to Me by Ari Lennox
This is the last time I’ll ever come here. I don’t know why I chose to even step foot in the state, let alone the city. I mean who else gets ghosted by their true love? Well, it’s a track record, really. To see how many loves I can collect before they just become infinite specks of memory.
Let me introduce you to this page, the one of many that make up this love.
Hi, my name is Rosemary, and I was a hopeless romantic. And finally, after looking for the one, I found them: a musician. Maybe I should have listened to, I don’t know, any love song ever recorded, but alas…I fell in love with a musician. Currently, I’m standing across the street from the same venue where I first saw them performing.
There was a pull we had towards each other, even from across the globe.
I don’t know how long I was standing there, but once I felt the drops of water starting to blur my vision, I knew it was time. Time to let go and find them. I don’t know why I let myself get so heartbroken, but I don’t think I had a choice. There was a pull we had towards each other, even from across the globe.
September 27th—an arbitrary date to anyone else, but this was our first anniversary. One year we had spent together, and during that time I had learned everything I needed to know. From what made them smile to their favorite dessert to their favorite movie to enjoy after a long day. I loved what they loved and hated what they did. I knew we had to have our differences, but everything they did made me want to be just like them.
December 31st—we stood in the room together celebrating New Year’s Eve, and I wanted to know how to make this moment last. I wanted the opportunity to join their heart and never leave. And sadly, that kiss we shared was a short one that faded into the many we shared. But I can say that on that night I had the best kiss of my life.
I wanted the opportunity to join their heart and never leave.
March 16th—a day before the betrayal, and I should have seen it coming because we hadn’t spent as much time together as before. But I guess this dream had to end. There where I first saw them perform was our glow starting to fade and end. All in the blink of an eye, everything became clear. They were never mine. I mean I never wanted them to be mine in a possessive way; I think the lack of possession turned into an obsession.
The signs weren't clear in my love-struck vision, but now I know that I never really knew them. And they never really knew me. Ugh, Rosemary how can you be so naive. To think they’d notice you. It was a nice fantasy to have, but alas that is what I was stuck with: a fantasy. Of the one I thought I loved. There was nothing but a brewing disgust in me that I wish I could’ve noticed before.
I will hold that love in me, but I don’t know when I’ll allow myself to do that ever again. To feel anything but hate.
